It’s 8 pm on a Thursday I’m trying not to think about all the bad things my friend is going to do to herself tomorrow. I can’t help but feel that she doesn’t feel real sometimes. I know she exists. Like I know she’s alive, I know she exists. I know she’s real but she just feels like an extension of myself sometimes. She’s like a figment of my imagination and in this dream of mine I wake up to hear her body shatter.
Sometimes explosions get trapped in a body and a firework spends its whole life believing it was a destructive wreck. Language is not enough to express the pain in her eyes.
I don’t know how to tell her how amazing she looks from the ground. I can’t tell her why it takes so much time for some of us to heal. I think the world is much more difficult for the impatient. Time is such a pain sometimes. I wish she didn’t have to wait so long for good things to happen in her life.
The only thing you can say to someone who doesn’t want to wait any longer is: please stay. I sincerely hope you change your mind. Please remember the way we see ourselves is not at all how others view us.
Also, if it counts, you’re never as bad as you think you are.
I don’t want to miss you forever because of temporary emotions and circumstances. I know the bad times feel like a lifetime now, but you’ll make it. It just takes a little patience.